Recently I was interviewed by MaMagazine, a journal based out of Spain. You can read it below, or follow the link here and read it on their online journal, where you can also find the stories from other artist / mother’s. I hope the interview sheds some more light on the realities of being an artist / mother, and the specifics of how it has shaped the artist I am today. Please leave me your comments, and let me know what you think.
At what point in your career as an artist did you become a mother?
I became a mother a decade into my career. For a long time I didn’t know if I wanted to become one. Then, coincidentally when my one year temporary full time contract as Professor of Fine Arts expired, my biological clock also begun ticking, and so we decided it was time! I had my first child at 38, and my second at 40.
How long did you need to relocate your new self in the world and in your art after your/s baby/ies were born?
I think I was so fearful of letting go of the art, and my identity as an artist, that I never stopped making art during my pregnancies, and I was back to making art the first month after their birth. That being said, motherhood changed me and my work so much, that my new sense of myself as an artist in this world changed tremendously about four years ago, when I claimed my authority as artist/mother. I have never felt as secure as I do now as an artist. I have no fear, I take risks, I am playful and open. My attitude is totally free and remains with the willingness to work for the long haul.
Did your art change after becoming a mother? How?
My work did change after becoming a mother. The first way in which it changed was my practice shifted away from oil painting, to working as an interdisciplinary artist. The stripping away of the identification as a painter to a maker began slowly, as I began to seek ways to integrate motherhood with art-making. Guided by materials and process, these two factors began to determine whether the work would become a drawing, collage, installation, painting, performance, or short film.
The second way that my work changed was in subject mater. The previous twenty years before motherhood, my art had been concerned with formal concerns of oil painting, such as line, edge, shape, and paint fracture. But as I followed my inquiry into the old paradigm that motherhood and art-making are exclusive of one another, the subject of my work in fact shifted to making visible unseen women’s labor. This exploration began with a prompt I gave myself when my children were babies, which was, “what were the two things I missed the most since having children?” My response was, “one, missing sleep, and two, making art on a daily basis”. Following this thought, I began putting Kozo paper underneath my bed sheets, to lie on while I co-slept with my baby. Becoming creased and torn, the paper was mapping the movement of our bodies, as we touched, tossed and turned throughout the night. After a week, when the bed sheets got changed, the paper was transformed into a paper collage, the size of my queen sized bed, evoking the skin it had been touching. This piece became the first of ten works that made up the series Queen Sheets, all measuring the standard size of queen sized bed, 80” x 60.”
The third way that my work has shifted since being a mother, is my eco-materialist mindset, which is now committed to a sustainable and non-toxic studio practice. With the change from oil paint, to the discovery of natural color which I found in my kitchen, I have continued on this path and fully committed myself to the use of botanical colors: making my own dyes, inks and paints. This new materialism has also gone down to my choices of paper and adhesives I use.
How do your children influence your work and the way you create?
My children have influenced my work in that I moved away from formal/academic concerns of art making, into a more engaged practice with notions of creativity, such as curiosity, play and discovery. Allowing myself to experiment with materials has led me to a deeper authentic expression of the personal aspect of my work, and how it intersects with the political realm of exploring unseen women’s labor.
The other way my children have influenced my work, is that by allowing them into the process of exploration with me, my work has more often than not, has invited collaboration as an important part of the process. Now that my kids are older, they don’t always have a direct role in making the work, but it opened up a door to the idea of collaboration, which led to two short films I made, with the talented Noor-Un-Nisa Touchon, as well as a collective I am now a part of with David D’Agostino and Monika Bittman, called Raking Weeds.
Talk us about MATERNIA.
M A T E R N I A, is a short film that examines the cultural paradigm which reinforces that motherhood and an art practice are exclusive from one another. The film began with the intention of being a documentary about process, but after a while it became clear that it was it’s own piece. After three years in it’s making, I discovered that for me motherhood and art making were in fact not exclusive from one another and that motherhood and my practice thrives on the integration of art and life.
How do you think your art influences your kids? To see you working and collaborating in what you are creating?
I think because my kids have collaborated with me, and always have had materials to play with, the kids are creative problem solvers. The first way is that these creative experiences have helped them cope and process emotional feelings. Whether it is making a drawing of how they feel, or getting lost in quite play building something, they are able to be with themselves, their feelings, and express themselves through non- verbal communication. Two, because they are comfortable experimenting with materials, my children are able to try out new ideas, which leads to new ways of thinking and problem-solving. Finally, because my kids see that I work as artist, business woman and mother, they already understand that these are all my jobs, and hopefully will grow up knowing they are valid paths of labor and living a life well lived.
Do you feel inside you a battle between the Artist and the Mother?
I don’t feel a battle between myself as an artist and mother. I think I have made such a conscious choice to both maintain my identity as an artist (by never having stopped making it) while remaining aware that if my practice ever made me resentful of my kids, I would have to shift the way I was working. So I made that change right from the beginning, by finding ways to integrate mothering and art making together.
What is the best and worst of motherhood for you?
The best thing about motherhood for me is the unspoken love that is given when they first wake up and find me to give me a hug. I also really enjoy observing their cognitive development such as the funny little riddles they have been making up like, “what has legs, but does not move?” give up? A statue! It is also really fun to see their physical development in new skills like ridding a bike, swimming and playing the guitar. Finally, I enjoy seeing their social development as well, in how they relate to other people outside of our relationship, and seeing them learn to be empathetic and kind human beings.
The worst of motherhood was the early years of parenting that was so much of being in constant service to the children, being woken up multiple times a night, and never really feeling rested and without much room for oneself. Pre pandemic as well, I really did not enjoy the hustle of having to attend all the school events, birthday parties, playdates, playground and museum outings. Now that all of that went away this year, all the anxiety and stress of going from here to there has dropped away, and I realized my kids are fine without all of it! I guess the silver lining in all this has been, stay at home and make art!